Where have I been you ask? Out of town, for 8 days, on the LONGEST work trip in the history of all time. I would have loved to update you about all the bad luck and shenanigans of this trip and how I almost starred in an episode of Snapped, but we were in the middle of nowhere and there was no Wi-Fi. Later this week I will fill you in about the vomit and the mosquitos and the town that’s never open. But first I wanted to share the best part of our trip with you. There must be some magic in Lake Possum Kingdom after all because our little trip transformed my son into a big brother. Finally.
My Sunshine has not been impressed with having a sibling pretty much since he found out he was having a sibling. Upon finding out I was pregnant; he went through phases of aggression towards me, throwing things at me, kicking, hitting and biting me. We put a stop to the physical aggression quickly, but once his sister arrived, things got worse for him emotionally speaking. We have raised him to be very articulate in expressing his feelings and boy did he express his feelings. He spent a lot of time telling me he hated me, hated her, begging us to take her back to the hospital, leave her in the street, give her away, send her to Nana’s house, let her live with his goat, you get the idea. He and I struggled a lot with our relationship after we brought the baby home. It broke my heart.
I have researched and cried and prayed and hoped that he would get past all this. But I’ll be honest with you, it has recently gotten pretty bad and I was starting to question if it would ever change. The only thing harder than him hurting me, is him hurting her and all along knowing he doesn’t mean to. My Wildflower is such a smart and advanced 15 month old, I could see his dislike registering with her and I have been devastated. I’ve been starting to lose my patience for his behavior and the older she gets, the more intolerant I am becoming. Some days I just want to scream, “it’s been over a year, get over it”. Other days all I do is play referee to them so they don’t just beat each other up all day. It’s a two way street, even though she is young, she holds her own and dishes out her share. I know it is normal; and I know that it is not forever, but I am just over it. OVER it. And I was starting to wonder how much of it was still his raging jealousy and annoyance with her and how much of it was it about me.
I had already made an appointment to talk to their pediatrician about what to do. We have pretty much tried everything. What we hadn’t tried was putting them together with no one else for 8 days out of their element with very little to do. At home we are always on the go, play dates and activities and errands fill most of our days. I can see where a baby tagging along for this life would look to a 4 year old like an inconvenience; it’s rough when the world stops revolving around you. But in the cabin for 4 days and in the car and hotel rooms for 4 more, My Sunshine finally discovered that his sister might be pretty cool and playing with her is a whole lot more fun than being angry and in trouble all the time. According to him, they became best friends this week… be still my beating heart. In all of the exhaustion and frustration of this week, these two little humans I made had the sweetest moments and I cried happy tears more than once. I might still be a little melty about all this goodness.
I was afraid that we would arrive home and the spell might be broken and in a way it was. Today the first time my son asked for something and I told him no, he thought for a moment before telling me he didn’t want his sister anymore. He could barely keep a straight face and he knew the jig was up. I just started laughing, and told him that wouldn’t work anymore. I was calm and matter of fact and it was over just like that. I know his emotions were real but I also know I got played by a 4 year old. How are these little people so smart? I feel like the weight of the world just fell off my shoulders. Sometimes I feel like we always have to take the long way around. I know sibling relationships are not perfect, I have 3 of my own, but I think we might have turned a corner. All the stress of disorganized traveling and chaos with small children was totally worth what I brought home, which is a smitten little sister who finally has a big brother for a best friend!