November 27, 2012
Tonight I had to write, I feel like my entire life changed today. Today we moved into what we have called the “new house” for the last 6 years. For almost our entire marriage we have owned 2 houses and both have been a work in progress the entire time. The new house has been in the remodel phase and the house we have lived in has been on hold for anything but necessities. Necessity, like when I set the kitchen on fire or when the house flooded and we had a newborn, you know, necessity. But floors that need to be resealed, baseboards, transition strips, counter tops repaired, paint, anything minor has been on hold until we finish the new house. And here we are, spending our first night in what is now our home.
When I walked into the old house after the furniture had been moved, I cried. It’s where the water man and I planned our wedding, where we faced our first real struggle as man and wife, where one of my dearest friends and I laid in bed crocheting and eating cookies after I lost my son, where I decorated my first nursery and brought my sunshine home to, where he took his first steps. Where we sat under the stars each night and talked about our dreams together. When I looked around I couldn’t help but think about how similar it looked to when we moved in. Only our now 80 pound lab Hudson was a puppy, so small he could fit under the pot belly stove. I walked out of our cozy little home, feeling sad and reminiscent like we were walking away from our life as a couple and as a tiny 3 person family that fit so snuggly there and into a life in a big, family. Bittersweet.
When I arrived back at the new house, something unexpected happened. As overwhelmed as a mess and boxes make me feel, I immediately feel like we were home. As a family, we belong here. It’s big and I thought I would be scared and not adapt well. I thought my son would have a transition period and we would feel like we were living in someone else’s house for a while. And to my surprise, every inch feels like home. To all of us. And just like that the “new house” became our home.
Goodbye little starter house